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Showing posts from June, 2017

The Best Way to Format Your Brain

Do you feel that your brain has been choked up with too much irrelevant thoughts and ideas and thus should be formatted to free up space for relevant ideas? Worry no more! There's good news for you. You can successfully hard-reset(format) your brain without much hassle. Just follow the instructions below. Go to the nearest Army Barracks in your locality. Walk straight into the Barracks and begin to shout "Who can dare me, them never born any soldier well."   Just then you will be surrounded by some soldiers. Don't be afraid of them. Just jump and slap the one closest to you. If your hand is free after slapping the first soldier, do the same to the next one. My brother, believe me, right there and then, you will receive a Brain formatting surgery carried out with bare hands free of charge without being admitted to the hospital. Sure, that's the best way to format your brain. Please don't thank me later. What are friends for? Please don't laugh...

The Fresh Chase, featuring Bobo2fine

Chai!  Wahala don tie wrapper! When Bobo2fine was an innocent young boy, there was this beautiful girl that used to call him My Husband . As young as he was then, Bobo2fine knew nothing about what she was insinuating. But she never ceased to call him My Husband . All of a sudden, Bobo2fine grew up to meet her still single and probably searching and is even more beautiful than she was when he was a kid. Now, Bobo2fine begins to develop interest in her but she pretends not to know him and wants him to begin the Chase afresh. Hahahaaaaa! Fresh Chase indeed! But do you know what Bobo2fine told her? Bobo2fine : " Common young Lady, you were my wife right from my infancy, so if you think am gonna start the Chase all over, you lied . After all you're the one who started it. " Lolz....do you think Bobo2fine is such a daredevil? You're free to Judge as long as you are not going to persecute him.

The Market Women's In-law

At the local markets in my area, if you're a man you're an in-law to all the market women that sell various wares and commodities there whether you like it or not. Go to the market now, you'll hear all of them calling you: "My Inlaw ! My handsome Inlaw !! My handsomer Inlaw !! My handsomest Inlaw !!! Please bring your bag, please bring your bag nah , I'll treat you well! Eyah , are you not going to marry my daughter again?" They do all these because they want you to patronize them. Good strategy? I don't think so. However, the simple truth is that they'll never pray for their daughters to marry most of these men and boys they call their Inlaws because even if someone is deaf and dumb or blind or is an imbecile they'll still call him Inlaw at the market. There's no denying that any of them would want her daughter to marry a mentally or physically challenged person. Furthermore, some people say that it's a productive business strategy t...

Operation Sell Naija

Reliable Information is indeed a Life-saver! If not for the availability of the internet, that's how I would remain within the confinement of my house oblivious of the evil plans some fellows are crafting against my land of birth. Imagine, I discovered on the internet that a group of some unscrupulous Elements have launched an Evil operation tagged: "Operation Sell Naija ." Their aim is to Sell Nigeria and Use the Money 💰 to Buy another Country of their Choice. But now they're quarrelling among themselves over which Country to buy after Selling Naija , my land of birth. Chai! Baba must hear this one. However, my Special Thanks and Gratitude go to Google my Best Friend who is also the Chairmain of UNITED NATIONS AMEBO ASSOCIATION ( U.N.A.ASS ) for keeping me abreast of this deadly info before it is executed.

Bobo2fine, The Desperate Popularity Seeker

He said he wanted to break the Guinness World Records. I asked him how he's gonna do that when nobody knows him beyond the confinement of his small village. He said whether he's in the remotest part of the World or not that the world must hear about this particular exploit he's gonna do. I was curious and insistent at the same time. I wanted to know what he's up to. So, I told him to spare me the suspense and went ahead to do what he claimed would break the Guinness World Records. Consequently, he asked me to wait and see what he's gonna do in the next couple of minutes. Needless to say, I was highly curious and excited. Then, he entered his room, and went straight to his wardrobe made of bamboo sticks and fetched some money from his wallet and dashed outside to Mama Edo's Provisions store which was only a stone throw from his house. At this juncture, a nasty thought flashed through my mind. I hope this boy's plans is not suicidal o! I thought to myself w...